February 2011

Subject: February 2011 Mon 7 Feb 2011 - 0:16

SamuelJamesAran on DeviantArt wrote:: Mood: Depressed

Well, I haven't written Journal in awhile. Main reason? I've been depressed, still am. Well let's get started.

Article 2A: The Beast and Belle Divorce

Well, me and Skylar broke up. Fucking pissed off at myself for doing it. He proposed to me, and I was so shocked I said yes. One week later, I began to get over the shock and then start seeing ahead, I got scared, and in doing so, I broke up with him. Now I'm alone, and hating myself. I mean, if I would have just took it in and stopped being scared, I WOULD OF HAD IT MADE! I would of had a roof over my head at 18, never have to work, have the boy of my dreams, and be as happy as I could be... But I got scared and ran away. Now all that's ahead of me is a load of BULLSHIT.

I regret every second I broke up with him. I've even gone so far as to being punishing myself.

Article 2B: The Revenge of the Smoker

And one of the ways I have been punishing myself is I have started to smoke cigarettes. Yes, I have become a Smoker. Which is normal for a person like me, because usually when I reach this... level, of depression, it's one of the ways that's keeping me from doing worse stuff. Usually when my depression begins to lighten up, this whole Smoking thing vanishes. It's a 'Phase' as most people call it.

Article 2C: Death to Sarah!!!

So yeah, few days later, I see Skylar with this girl named Sarah. I've seen how they talk to each other, how they hang out with each other. It's clear Skylar was over me before I broke up with him, because it seems he rebounded/recovered rather quickly. Getting all flirty and shit with that Sarah. Maybe I'm Jealous, but I'm definitely pissed at Skylar.

Article 2D: My Master

So yeah, on a lighter side, I made friends with this guy named Victor. HE KNOWS MORE ABOUT EM THEN I DO!! O_O kinda scares me but he's a cool guy. He's helping me through this depression and a few other things.

Article 2E: Oki Family Affairs

So me and Victor decided on starting a book together about my forum: IDRealPhobia. The style? Mafia! Basically it's about two mafia families at war with each other in the nation of RealPhobia. The characters are people from our forum, for instance, the administrators? The Don's of the two rivaling Mafia Families. The Moderators? Well one of them its being a jerk and selfish so I just fucked him over and didn't put him in it, sucks for him when it gets published no? But anyways, I am the 'Mother' of the Hinaoki Mafia Family, while the other Moderator is the 'Mother' of the 0blivion Mafia Family. It's a rather interesting tale, if I may say so myself. If my Master let's me, I'll post it on here... But then again, eh maybe... Naaaah too high a risk of it getting stolen. You want to read it? Gotta join mi familia de roleplayers!!!

Article 2F: Laptop Cannot be Revived

So yeah, after one week of being in surgery, my (dad's) laptop was deemed unrepairable. So yeah, I'm pissed, I mean not can I not retrieve my almost completed program, but I also lost tons of shit. I'm very pissed off.

Article 2G: New Stylist? New Style!

Yeah, my fellow Gay friend (but not boyfriend (I WISH I COULD DATE HIM OMG!)) has become my hair stylist! He's damn good, he's been doing it since he was 13 and he's 20 years old. He's fucking HOT too! *Dies* But anyways, I've decided to start a new style, spiked hair, bleached white, jeans (omg!), belt, Ecko Unltd hoodie, Skull or Skeleton shirts, Skull and Crossbones ring, and Skull Necklace. I kinda like my new look, pity I can't get rid of my glasses >_< but my eyes refuse to let anything enter them.

So yeah. That's all folks! Good night! Sleep tight! Have a good life while mine is trash!

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