observations

putting bronzer on your nose makes you look 33% less dead. It also jumps your attractiveness from 7/10 to 9/10. Same goes for cheekbones.

the only kind of makeup that makes a girl more attractive is natural makeup. Every other kind of makeup just makes you look different. It's ok, don't cry.

Did your highlighter break in the pan? It's ok, it accidentally improved the color payoff.

nothing wrong with blue lipstick, but there is something wrong with badly-applied blue lipstick.

There continues to be no correlation between attractiveness and number of sexual partners.

You only wear bold lipstick in the morning cause you're too lazy to reapply and you like to eat. Longwear promises are bogus. No lipstick survives food.

Your eyelids are shaped differently. If you weren't insecure about this before you started wearing eyeshadow and eyeliner, you are now.

fuck nail polish, you have too much polish and not enough nail

Spending 60$ on shimmery eyeshadows to realize you don't like shimmer is ok, you suppose.

Glitter will stay on you forever, like herpes. Embrace it. Find other glitter-infested people to spend the rest of your life with.

One cat is enough.