The Wanderer
Member
Posts : 5810
Join date : 2010-02-12
Age : 30
Location : Settling back into his home on IDR.
Random : The Internet is a cold, cold, amazing place.
 |  Subject: Feedback  Thu 11 Aug 2011 - 6:12 | |
| Master asked me to post this up :3 Go ahead and give me and him some feedback on the book~ | |
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Capricorn Hunter
Member
Posts : 2982
Join date : 2010-06-02
Age : 29
Location : Canada
Random : Of course I'm right
| | Subject: Re: Feedback Thu 11 Aug 2011 - 9:49 | |
| I really love the concept, but honestly, I feel it could be so much more. And there are a lot of run-on sentences and missing punctuation, so it would be good if you had someone read over it before it was posted. | |
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Rarity
Member
Posts : 1353
Join date : 2010-06-19
Age : 28
Location : United States
Random : I will love and tolerate the shit out of you.
| | Subject: Re: Feedback Thu 11 Aug 2011 - 9:56 | |
| - Capricorn Hunter wrote:
- I really love the concept, but honestly, I feel it could be so much more. And there are a lot of run-on sentences and missing punctuation, so it would be good if you had someone read over it before it was posted.
This is why I said that you needed a beta-reader, lol. | |
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Zentaku
Member
Posts : 10438
Join date : 2010-01-09
Age : 31
Location : the place between ultimate despair and pure bliss.
Random : With time all things change and all people change. Nothing is constant.
| | Subject: Re: Feedback Thu 11 Aug 2011 - 12:37 | |
| I tend to agree, it could use a little technical improvement, but the story is solid enough, and the characters make a colorful contrast to the darker world for a rather interesting environment. | |
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