I I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no other gods nor sacrifice to idols *for I want all the winnings myself.
II Thou shalt not use the name of thy Lord in Vain *for I am wanted in Vain for owing back taxes.
III Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy *by bringing My percentage to the temple.
IV Honor they father and mother *for I am both.
V Thou shalt not murder *unless I tellest thou to.
VI Thou shalt not commit adultery *unless thou askest really nicely. Polygamy and group marriage are fine.
VII Thou shalt not steal *unless it be for My profit.
VIII Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor *unless it be for My profit.
IX Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife *until I have a chance with her first.
X Thou shalt not covet anything that belongs to thy neighbor, including his ass *unless thou canst win it in a game.
Subject: 10 commandments, MY way! x3 
